Stephanie Gayle

Rules for writing fiction

2010-03-10T16:00:38Z

The Guardian recently printed a list of ten rules for writing fiction composed by several prominent authors such as Margaret Atwood, Richard Ford and Anne Enright. You can find it here.

The one that made me laugh out loud came courtesy of Roddy Doyle:

Do not place a photograph of your favourite author on your desk, especially if the author is one of the famous ones who committed suicide.

Excellent advice!

Oscar Fever

2010-03-07T22:21:15Z

In past years I might have had a case of Oscar Fever, that peculiar ailment that hits in early March and involves watching hours worth of a very boring awards show in which very few awards are actually, er. awarded. This year I will spend a portion of my Sunday night watching the awards show, though I intend to get to bed at a decent hour and thus will miss most of the "big" awards. No matter. I think I've seen two of the nominated films this year, so I'm not feeling terribly invested as it were.

However this little film of Oscar cliches made me remember anew just what it is that gets a movie to this most special of awards show. Please enjoy.

New project

2010-03-02T01:46:27Z

I'm beginning a new novel, which is not altogether new. I was writing it in parallel with the last novel I wrote but I had to abandon it when it became clear which book needed me more or was speaking to me more clearly. So I find myself with 90 pages of manuscript, which is a rather tidy amount. Enough for me to remember what my major character is like and why I created him in the first place. This time around, however, I am taking a novel (heh) approach. I'm outlining. I'm drawing diagrams and creating backstories and thinking it through before I write another page. Because I feel as though I've spent too much time in prior works letting the characters drive the story, unsure of the destination or changing the destination and then having to go back and rewrite all over the map. This is not to say that I think outlining will save me from rewrites. As bloody if. But I do think it might allow me to build a more solid framework and to be able to allude to future events in a way I've not been able to do in a first draft before. And honestly the whole kicking ideas around, thinking deeply about what I want for this story, is wonderful fun. I'm in no hurry to end it.

It reminds me of the poem, Ithaca, by Constantine P. Cavafy, which my first creative writing instructor Ann Boutelle, shared with me, and which took me many, many years to fully understand. I rather love it now.

Ithaca
When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon -- do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path,
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.

Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would have never set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.

To the woman at my gym class last night

2010-02-23T16:21:48Z

Hi petite woman from my Zumba class last night. Wow! That was a cardio workout, huh? All that fast paced dancing with little instruction. Really keeps you moving. So when I (new to Zumba--it was my first class) bumped into you because I was looking at my feet and I tripped over my pants I was sorry. Very sorry. That's why I said, "Sorry" and smiled to show I meant it. Also I was embarrassed so my cheeks might have been red with something more than exertion. So at the water break when you walked away from the spot next to me and crossed to the opposite side of the gym I felt bad. Even more embarrassed. I wasn't going to bump into you again (most likely). I sure was going to try my hardest not to bump into you. But you did not give me that chance. No. You moved as far away from you as you could get. Oh wait. I just had an epiphany. You didn't move away because you feared my flailing limbs. You moved because you couldn't bear to see your poor excuse for a booty shake beside my pro version. Yes, I'm sure that's it. Well I'm sorry petite lady that I bumped into. Maybe if you practice a lot you can get better. Yes, maybe.

Yours in booty shaking excellence,
Stephanie

Disappointed

2010-02-20T16:46:31Z

The doorbell just rang. It's a very soft sound and if I didn't have superheroine hearing I'm not sure I'd know there was someone ringing it most of the time. But I heard it and I jumped up and ran to the door, excited. I was sure it was the delivery guys come to bring my long awaited washer/dryer.

No such luck.

It was two gents from a local church looking to offer me eternal salvation.

"Does it come with a washer/dryer?" I almost asked. But I was pretty sure they'd say no so I didn't.

The fickle nature of reviews

2010-02-09T21:51:50Z

Everybody's a critic.
Today my google alerts found that my book had been mentioned by the Maitland Public Library's blog. So, reckless in the face of potentially nasty reviews, I clicked through and found that Aimee had enjoyed my book. I can tell because my book is listed under Cheers, along with Bollywood Confidential by Sonia Singh and Double Whammy by Carl Hiassen. The counterpoint to Cheers is Chills, implying that the book met with a frosty reception. Only one book did. That book? Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout. Jean said of it, "This was, for me, a very depressing book. I will say though that it was very well-written.”

Olive Kitteridge won the 2009 Pulitzer Prize.

And that folks helps puts things into perspective.
Not everyone is going to like your stuff even if they can admit it's well-written. And that's more than most people will allow. Of course, Elizabeth Strout can hug her Pulitzer to her chest (Is it huggable? What's it look like?) at the end of the day for comfort. But, I think, most of us who give the world material to review should keep this in mind: criticism is influenced by a whole host of prejudices and preferences inherent in critics that you cannot and should not attempt to control for in creating your work.

Best New Site Ever!

2010-02-01T14:31:51Z

I'm so sorry for my belated and (let's admit it) half-assed posts of late. But when I present to you the following I think you will understand why I've been absent for some time.

Selleck Waterfall Sandwich

OMG indeed. I'll see you in a week, when you've escaped the delicious, crusty embrace of Tom Selleck and his sandwich du jour.

Yummmmmmmmmm...

Tempting

2010-01-25T22:09:00Z

While checking my gmail I noticed that one of my chat status options was "invincible." I thought that was rad until I noticed it said "invisible," which disappointed me at first. But why? Invisible is pretty awesome too. Oh google! What can't you make happen? I'm going to go get invisible!

Damn

2010-01-12T17:24:54Z

God, I hate it when I discover the book I've spent untold hours researching and plotting has already been published.

All those hours in the danger zone, interviewing bears. For nought! Ah well, back to the drawing board.

If you're contemplating

2010-01-06T01:35:26Z

adding chowder to your backpack I recommend you don't. The stuff smells and it leaves white marks on black fabric and I know this because a quart of chowder exploded in my backpack tonight. Not good. Of course the very handsome boyfriend (for whom the chowder had been bought and transported) on seeing the little of the chowder that remained in its plastic container said, "Thank god you got the quart. Otherwise there wouldn't have been any left to eat." Ah yes, that's my man. Always looking on the bright side.

Homeowning and Not

2009-12-30T01:40:58Z

Tonight I was in the basement and suddenly heard what sounded like rain. Only inside. Above the basement dryer the ceiling was indeed raining. "Oh shit, oh shit," I thought. "How much do plumbers cost? And what will the plumber need to fix?" Right on the heels of this thought was, "Your house in intact. It's just raining a little. Calm down."

The second thought came courtesy of my friend and former New York roommate, Andrea, who experienced a rather apocalyptic pre-Christmas event. Her house exploded. Let me amend that statement. Her house exploded while she, her husband, and her 18-month-old child were inside of it. Luckily they all escaped though her husband did suffer burns. The firemen had to bulldoze the house to put the fire out.

All too often when crazy scary things like houses exploding happen you're able to forget them sooner than not because you don't know the people involved. In this case I know and love the people involved and so I think for quite some time their very sad and dramatic event will stay with me. And it will most certainly check my ready-to-despair attitude about small things, like a little rain inside the basement.

This was supposed to be an entry about my new bird feeder

2009-12-27T18:23:18Z

and it's rather expected assault by squirrels. But the kicker is that it has attracted the rare black squirrel I saw during our first week in our new home. So I took some great snaps of the squirrel who obviously prizes seed over safety. But I can't share the images with you because my camera's memory is wonky and it's taking me much googling to discover how to repair this problem.

So until then imagine a black squirrel feasting on the bird seed I installed yesterday in the hopes of attracting...birds.

I guess nothing is turning out as it should.

Books I Have Read

2009-12-24T19:40:02Z

Today I was taking a gander at my "books read" spreadsheet.
Yes, I keep a spreadsheet of the books I've read. Don't you?
According to my records I have read 65 books in 2009. The number seems low to me and I admit that I don't include the books I read for research. Not sure why, but I don't. So the true number is probably closer to 75. I suspect that number will get even greater in 2010 now that part of my commute involves the bus. You can get a lot of reading done on a bus.

I thought about making a "best of" books list but those lists are so subjective and most of the books I read weren't published in 2009. It's just when I read them. So I've decided to make a different subjective list which you are free to counter, dismiss or gobble up, as you see fit.

Of the books I read in 2009 these were unique in specific ways.

Most Heartbreaking: Cost by Roxanna Robinson
Classic I Could Not Finish: The Man With the Golden Gun by Nelson Algren
Book That Made Me Want to Donate My Body to Science: Stiff by Mary Roach
Mystery Novel that Shattered Preconceptions: Chalk Circle Man by Fred Vargas (the detective frequently cites that he's not intelligent)
Most Testosterone Per Page: The Outfit by Richard Stark

And there you have it. Some of the books I read in 2009.

Open Letter to Plague Lady

2009-12-23T02:29:25Z

Dear Plague Lady,

So why exactly are you inside the Gap, shopping? As you've so clearly detailed on your cellular phone you are sick. Very sick. Sick with a virus you say, so you can't get drugs for whatever ails you. Lots of people in your office have the same "thing." You tell your phone friend that you texted your boss and your boss told you to stay away from the office. Do you know why? Because contagious sick people get other people ill. That's why contagious, sick people should stay at home instead of bemoan their fate while hacking up a lung near the sales rack of the Gap.

That look I gave you as I quickly walked past, holding my breath? Not nearly dirty enough.

If you're going to be dumb enough to expose others to your germs be smart enough not to reveal that fact in many minute details, okay?

Wishing you a relapse,
Stephanie

You're so vain

2009-12-19T22:46:41Z

Vanity plates are like personalized checks: an advertisement of some preference/feature about a person to an audience that largely doesn't care. So besides the inanity of paying more money at the RMV or DMV or whatever MV you prefer there is the all important choice of message. Can't be profane or a duplicate but otherwise the 8 digit alphabetical or numerical vehicular plate is the limit.

Last night I saw the following NY state plate: PALEMALE.
Way to own your pale skin, mister! Sure it seems a bit odd to sell that aspect above all others but um, hey, yeah.

Today I saw the following MA state plate: MAGICD.
"Magic D!" I yelled.
"Or Magi CD," the very handsome boyfriend said.
"Even better!"

So to those vain enough to get those special plates, thanks. They liven up long road trips and I'm sure the extra funds you contribute to the RMV or DMV fills potholes.