Stephanie Gayle

Tonight I was in the basement and suddenly heard what sounded like rain. Only inside. Above the basement dryer the ceiling was indeed raining. "Oh shit, oh shit," I thought. "How much do plumbers cost? And what will the plumber need to fix?" Right on the heels of this thought was, "Your house in intact. It's just raining a little. Calm down."

The second thought came courtesy of my friend and former New York roommate, Andrea, who experienced a rather apocalyptic pre-Christmas event. Her house exploded. Let me amend that statement. Her house exploded while she, her husband, and her 18-month-old child were inside of it. Luckily they all escaped though her husband did suffer burns. The firemen had to bulldoze the house to put the fire out.

All too often when crazy scary things like houses exploding happen you're able to forget them sooner than not because you don't know the people involved. In this case I know and love the people involved and so I think for quite some time their very sad and dramatic event will stay with me. And it will most certainly check my ready-to-despair attitude about small things, like a little rain inside the basement.

Posted by Stephanie at 08:40 PM | Permalink

and it's rather expected assault by squirrels. But the kicker is that it has attracted the rare black squirrel I saw during our first week in our new home. So I took some great snaps of the squirrel who obviously prizes seed over safety. But I can't share the images with you because my camera's memory is wonky and it's taking me much googling to discover how to repair this problem.

So until then imagine a black squirrel feasting on the bird seed I installed yesterday in the hopes of attracting...birds.

I guess nothing is turning out as it should.

Posted by Stephanie at 01:23 PM | Permalink

Today I was taking a gander at my "books read" spreadsheet.
Yes, I keep a spreadsheet of the books I've read. Don't you?
According to my records I have read 65 books in 2009. The number seems low to me and I admit that I don't include the books I read for research. Not sure why, but I don't. So the true number is probably closer to 75. I suspect that number will get even greater in 2010 now that part of my commute involves the bus. You can get a lot of reading done on a bus.

I thought about making a "best of" books list but those lists are so subjective and most of the books I read weren't published in 2009. It's just when I read them. So I've decided to make a different subjective list which you are free to counter, dismiss or gobble up, as you see fit.

Of the books I read in 2009 these were unique in specific ways.

Most Heartbreaking: Cost by Roxanna Robinson
Classic I Could Not Finish: The Man With the Golden Gun by Nelson Algren
Book That Made Me Want to Donate My Body to Science: Stiff by Mary Roach
Mystery Novel that Shattered Preconceptions: Chalk Circle Man by Fred Vargas (the detective frequently cites that he's not intelligent)
Most Testosterone Per Page: The Outfit by Richard Stark

And there you have it. Some of the books I read in 2009.

Posted by Stephanie at 02:40 PM | Permalink

Dear Plague Lady,

So why exactly are you inside the Gap, shopping? As you've so clearly detailed on your cellular phone you are sick. Very sick. Sick with a virus you say, so you can't get drugs for whatever ails you. Lots of people in your office have the same "thing." You tell your phone friend that you texted your boss and your boss told you to stay away from the office. Do you know why? Because contagious sick people get other people ill. That's why contagious, sick people should stay at home instead of bemoan their fate while hacking up a lung near the sales rack of the Gap.

That look I gave you as I quickly walked past, holding my breath? Not nearly dirty enough.

If you're going to be dumb enough to expose others to your germs be smart enough not to reveal that fact in many minute details, okay?

Wishing you a relapse,
Stephanie

Posted by Stephanie at 09:29 PM | Permalink

Vanity plates are like personalized checks: an advertisement of some preference/feature about a person to an audience that largely doesn't care. So besides the inanity of paying more money at the RMV or DMV or whatever MV you prefer there is the all important choice of message. Can't be profane or a duplicate but otherwise the 8 digit alphabetical or numerical vehicular plate is the limit.

Last night I saw the following NY state plate: PALEMALE.
Way to own your pale skin, mister! Sure it seems a bit odd to sell that aspect above all others but um, hey, yeah.

Today I saw the following MA state plate: MAGICD.
"Magic D!" I yelled.
"Or Magi CD," the very handsome boyfriend said.
"Even better!"

So to those vain enough to get those special plates, thanks. They liven up long road trips and I'm sure the extra funds you contribute to the RMV or DMV fills potholes.

Posted by Stephanie at 05:46 PM | Permalink

Every now and again in writing I hit a wall. I run into a plot problem or character issue that I can't resolve. And I recognize that I can't resolve it. So I stew. I've learned to let my brain grind away in the background, crunching on these problems while I work at other things (such as cleaning the bathroom). Brute force isn't much help with these larger problems. Any good solution is going to take time. I currently have hit a wall with my manuscript's end. The big reveal is no good but the actual last bit of ending (post-reveal) is okay. So I'm letting my mind crunch away, trying not to rush it. Rushing it, I believe, might explain the rather crap bit of ending I'm wrestling with now. So instead of worrying I am going to frost some cupcakes. And hope that in a couple of days' time the wall has come down.

Posted by Stephanie at 01:08 PM | Permalink

I need a desk. I need it to work on. My current available work surfaces are either outside my office or about one foot wide which is approximately three feet shorter than I'd like. I'm having a hard time finding a desk that is not hideous, made of cheapo veneer but retails for a true wood price, or is set up such that I'll bang my knees into it. I am a great one for banging my knees.

I want a stylish, functional piece that fits into my small writing area and that I'll keep for years and years. Tonight I found the Grand Ecart Table.

"Pretty!" I said. "Red!" And then I saw that it is way to large for my office area and it costs $7,950 (on sale at The Conran Shop now for $6,360).

I think I'll keep looking...

Posted by Stephanie at 08:05 PM | Permalink

I have long limbs. Some might attribute this to my poor circulation and why my fingers are always so damn cold. Other might argue it's just symptomatic of the coldness within. Whatevs. I do know that when I'm typing and I'm cold my hands get that much colder. A dear friend gave my fingerless arm warmers last winter and it was possibly the best, most practical gift I received.

Today I found these online.

The gloves plug into your USB drives.
Gloves that warm your hands while you type. Frickin' genius!
I will take two please.

Posted by Stephanie at 09:26 PM | Permalink