Corn Maze Adventure
I did it! I visited the David Mega Maze, an 8-acre corn maze located in Sterling, Mass. Here are some things I learned about corn mazes, navigation, and myself during that several hour journey through the 10 foot tall corn paths.
1. If the people running the maze say it might take up to 3 hours to complete said maze, believe them. Your cavalier attitude will win you only frustration.
2. Helpful teenage guides like being helpful and dispensing clues. Listen to them. Ignore the others (men) who tell you that asking for clues is cheating.
3. At some (many) points you will be filled with an innate sense of rightness, of knowing to turn right or left. That's nice. It's good to feel smart. Just don't be surprised when your infallible sense of direction leads you in a circle.
4. Don't drink a lot of liquids before disappearing into a maze where even the portopotties are hidden well inside the labyrinth.
5. Snacks are a good idea. Getting lost is hungry work.
6. If you succeeding making it to the victory bridge, by all means indulge in victory gong ringing. You've earned it!
7. If you win you get a gold coin and one of the corn maze owners, dressed as Indiana Jones, will pose with you. He will then give you a gun to hold. You'll notice it feels suspiciously heavy. Feel free to aim it at your head as you pose! Whee!
Now go take a nap and eat some dinner. You deserve it!!