Conservation laws
Based on the conservation of energy I invented my own conservation principles.
*Conservation of the letter "r." Here in Massachusetts we drop "r"s, a lot. BUT! We never actually lose the letter. In strict accordance with conservation principles, for every "r" we drop off "car" or "park" we add said lost "r" to a word previously unadorned such as "idea" or "Sheila."
*Conservation of injuries. For every injury I avoid or that heals I am given a new one. Case in point: I just discovered that I don't need surgery on my left wrist (thank you!). The next day? I threw out my back. This might be hilarious if, you know, it involved someone other than myself.
I'd feel a lot better if I'd invented three principles but I didn't and it's beautiful out of doors today, so rather than stare at the screen I'm going to go outside and get some of that air that's fresh. Oh and walk a ton so my back doesn't form itself into a Gordian knot.