Stephanie Gayle

The Associated Press reported August 16th:

When Susan Kuhnhausen returned home from work one day earlier this month, she encountered an intruder wielding a claw hammer. After a struggle, the 51-year-old nurse fended off her attacker by strangling him with her bare hands.

Neighbors praised the woman for her bravery, and investigators said they believed the dead man — Edward Dalton Haffey — was burglarizing Kuhnhausen’s home.

But after an investigation, police now say the intruder Kuhnhausen strangled was apparently a hit man hired by her estranged husband — Michael James Kuhnhausen Sr. — to kill her.

End of story.

Holy hell, y'all. Women strangles intruder with bare hands. Then discovers intruder was hired by her husband to murder her? That's stuff I might not dare write, because it sounds...made up. Amazing. As for comeuppances, "the husband was taken into custody and charged with conspiracy to commit murder and attempted murder. He was ordered held on $500,000 bail."

But the best sentence of the story is this: "A large woman, she was eventually able to get the slight Haffey into a chokehold and police later found him dead in a hallway."

A large woman. Well, that explains her overpowering her "slight" murderously intentioned intruder. We should all be so large.