Stephanie Gayle

I don’t want to create any unnecessary end-of-the-world panic out there. Yes, it’s 2012, but the Mayans didn’t say the world would end in 2012. They just ran out space on their calendars or some such.

However.

This news story:  Shark hybrids! sort of got me thinking about

Super smart sharks

Uh oh.

Wow.

I’m rewatching The Secret of Nihm (1982).

Sir Derek Jacobi is Nicodemus. I’m guessing he did the voice work before he got knighted. Maybe that’s WHY he was knighted.

I’d forgotten the bit in the movie about animal testing and its inherent evil.  Huh.

And Wil Wheaton is the voice of Martin, the bratty child mouse. Holy moly!  This movie has the craziest casting ever.

Did I even mention Dom DeLuise?

Verdict?

Cramazing.

When you’re checking the weather on wunderground.com and instead of a simple picture showing you rain or sun or clouds you see this:

It makes you worry that the Riddler has taken charge of the weather.

You got questions? We got answers!

And when I say we I mean Hank Green, of Nerdfighters fame.

Surely it is worth four minutes of your time to know the answers to Google’s most popular questions?

It starts out with Thanksgiving messages, but gets to the good stuff soon enough.

My dad’s birthday is near Thanskgiving each year. So, knowing I’d see him and knowing how impossible it is to shop for the man, I called him to wish him birthday cheer and ask him what he wanted. Just a kiss, he said, when he saw me on Thanksgiving. I told him it didn’t sound like a very useful gift. He assured me it was all he wanted.  Fast forward to Thanksgiving morning when the very handsome boyfriend and I are preparing to drive to my sister’s house.

Me: I feel bad because I’m bringing my mom a birthday present but not my dad.

VHB: Why didn’t you get your dad something?

Me: Because when I called and asked what he wanted he said ‘just a kiss.”

VHB: It better be a good kiss.

Awkward silence. Staring.

VHB: I’m bleeding! (He had shaved, approximately five minutes ago. So yes, he was bleeding, but I think he was just looking for an excuse to escape.)

Ah, but there is no escaping the Internets. So consider this your belated T-day gift. A story of birthday gift recommendations gone terribly wrong. Next year, Dad, ask for socks or a sweater. Spare VHB the grief, okay?

Remember when vampires were huge? Everything was vampire, vampire, vampire. I mean, they’re still big…but I think they peaked here:

And then came zombies. Ah, the undead. Always ready for a great comeback story.

You know you’ve made it when you’re cuddling Jane Austen’s prose.

But I feel as though maybe zombies are a bit trite. Yesterday’s monster as it were.

So what’s next? Mummies? Werewolves?  Malevolent aliens?

I suggest this:

I came across this gallery of Moby Dick covers. I really dig the first one. It’s so classic. But then as I was scrolling through I came across one that made my jaw unhinge. Really, it’s worth it.  Just scroll through. There are only nine covers and you will know when you’ve found the one I’m talking about. It’s very much ‘one of these things is not like the other.’ I mean, did the illustrator have any idea what the novel was about? I’m guessing no.

Moby Dick Cover Gallery

Please don’t panic. I know, the blog looks totally different. The background isn’t red, there are lines on the ‘paper’ and there is no photo of me prominently displayed on the page (I think we can agree that’s for the best, no?) I am sure that in time you will grow acclimated to this abrupt alteration of all that you once knew and loved. Just think of it like one of those actor swaps they used to do on soap operas (remember soap operas?) where a strange man would walk on set and everyone would say, “Victor!” and you’d think “That’s not Victor.  Victor had hair. Are these people stupid or on drugs?” and it turned out they were neither. They were just consummate professionals trained to pretend as if switching actors mid-season was a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Which it was for them, being paid actors and all. So put your best drama mask on and pretend like this is all natural and to the good.

Those of you who do the best ‘acting’ will be considered for roles in my new musical production of “Oliver, the Zombie.” The tag lines is: “Consider Yourself our Mate (and a Meal!)”