Stephanie Gayle

I had a bad day yesterday. A very bad day. Someday I'll tell you why it was bad but not today. Today I'm going to tell you how to survive a very bad day. These tools may help you in the event of a painful breakup, unexpected baldness, or post-apocalyptic survival in which you discover your only companion for the rest of your days is David Spade.

When life hands you lemons, add these to the mix:

Pandas. No matter how bad the day, knowing that evolution gave you pandas to enjoy makes the world a slightly less hellish place.

Bret and Jemaine will make you laugh through those tears! Especially if you listen to "I'm not crying" in which Bret sings, "I'm not crying. I've just been cutting onions. I'm making a lasagna...for one." It's the delivery. Genius.

Rereading old books you adored as a kid. My pick was Beverly Cleary's Fifteen. Holy Moses, how I loved that book and pitied poor Jane because I thought her last name, Purdy, was awful. And the clothes that she hated (Peter Pan collars?) sounded so fascinating! Plus, this book totally prepared me for Macbeth, with a Birnham Woods advancing reference when Jane brings her too big bouquet to Stan at the hospital post-appendix operation. Though I hate the new cover they gave the book. The cover pictured is the one I had. Now it's an illustration of a milkshake. Feh.

I must give props to the ladies at Jezebel for turning me on to revisiting old books. They have a feature called
"Fine Lines" penned by Lizzie Skurnick that revisits classics such as Then Again Maybe I Won't by Judy Blume. The book that taught me about puberty in teenage boys. (Man did I feel badly for boys after this--wet dreams? Uncontrollable boners? Eww!)

Rosie's Bakery. When life is bad, cupcakes are good. Hell, when life is good cupcakes are good. Mine had bits of Heath bar atop the chocolate frosting. Yum.

South Park. If laughter is the best medicine, then these guys dosed me. The episode I watched featured a boxing match between Jesus and Satan. Good stuff.

I hope all of you are having fanfreakingtastic days and don't need any of the above-listed tools to keep you from drinking liquor. I mean more liquor. I mean...enjoy!