Stephanie Gayle

Hello friends!
I'm getting ready to attend a holiday party at which I will finally witness the glory of a turducken incarnate. My friend Cheryl's husband, Chris, actually deboned all the birds himself and sewed them back up with stuffing. A chicken inside a duck inside a turkey. The very handsome boyfriend is very, very excited. He's been talking of creating a turducken for years and I've been doing my best to rain on that particular parade. Just the idea of handling all that animal flesh gives me the squicks. But the boyfriend persists in his desire, and, I'm afraid after tonight I may not be able to check his turducken desires. Unless Chris tells him it was godawful to create. Hmmmmmm....I bet Chris isn't immune to bribery.

In fact, when I first mentioned that Chris would create a turducken for this party here's the conversation that ensued between me and the very handsome boyfriend.

VH Boyfriend: If Chris gets to make a turducken, so do I!
Me: Ummmmm.....
VH Boyfriend: I mean, Chris cut open his leg with a chainsaw!
Me: You see how that comparison doesn't work in favor of your argument?
VH Boyfriend: Right. Well. I want to make a turducken!
Me: (mumbling through drink)
VH Boyfriend: What?
Me: I want a pony.