All I want for Christmas...
is not my two front teeth, though there was, in fact, a holiday season when I was sans two front teeth. I'd say it was adorable, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't. What's cute about a gaping hole in your mouth where your teeth should be? Ick.
Anyway, the other day my mother pointed out that I hadn't made a gift list. So savvy me turned the tables by saying, "You didn't ask for one this year." But she trumped me with some mother's guilt, for the win.
So this blog post is for you Mom. Though I honestly meant it when I said I didn't need anything. The items below should prove that.
Here's the book I mentioned, of animal photographs.
I also want a solar jar. I told Lesley this but then she asked me what size top I wear, so I'm sort of doubting she bought me one. You can order this through RedEnvelope. Their phone number is 1-877-733-3683 because I know you don't shop online. Ever.
It's on sale for $32.00. And yes, it's a jar that captures solar energy and then glows. I told you I didn't need anything.
What else? I like fancy ass cocoa. In fact, I have a hard time drinking less-than-stellar cocoa. What's best, though, is that your darling daughter will corrupt a $6.00 cup of fancy ass cocoa with Fluff if you let her. Awww, remember how Lesley and I used to climb the kitchen counters to eat Fluff straight from the container and it made a mallowy ring 'round our cherubic mouths? Yeah, we were adorable.
So fancy ass cocoa from Vosges would be good. Their phone # is 888-301-9866. Really, anything from there is fine except white chocolate. Bleh. White chocolate isn't even chocolate. (Tell that to my Philistine sister, Lesley. Remember how she always wanted the white chocolate bunny at Easter? Gross.)
Oh dear, that image isn't very large. The cocoa pictured is La Parisienne Couture Cocoa. I know how you like to speak French. See how generous I am? Giving you a chance to parlez-vous francais.
Yes, truly, never was there a more loving daughter. You should probably buy me all of these things. Or. Better yet? On Christmas take all the gifts with Lesley's name on them and give them to me and say, "Here. I think you deserve these more." That would be hilarious, and priceless. Not that I want her gifts or anything. I mean, she likes white chocolate. Ewww.