Stephanie Gayle

Frequent visitors to this blog (hi Mom!) may have noticed a dearth of entries as of late. This, combined with their knowledge of me, may have led them to fear the worst: that I had joined the Rockettes and was high kicking my way toward nirvana. Fear not, friends! I am at a safe distance from those fur-trimmed dancers. In fact, I have been spending much of my time learning. Yes, learning. You may remember when I admitted tht my georgraphy skills were, how shall we say, laughable? But how I hoped internet puzzles would help me overcome my disability.

Well, a miracle hath been wrought! The fine folks at Travelpod heard my call and have given me Traveler IQ Challenge. Link is here. But before you click on said link, I warn you: this game is highly addictive. If like me, you hate losing and feel you could do much better if you play just one more time, then don't be surprised if seven hours later your mouse finger is cramped and your eyes burn from peering at your monitor. Oh, and if you have a laptop sans mouse, don't even bother. The game requires you to try to place a flag as precisely in a city's location as you can. It's nigh impossible without a mouse. Trust me. I did the research.

Despite the fact that I've lost whole days to this game I am delighted to report I can now point with confidence to places I previously didn't know existed! More than once I yelled at my computer, "You made that up! There's no such place!" Unfortunately, I think my geography may be limited by the game's map, which is color coded. For instance, Germany is ingrained in my mind as a pink country, whereas Iran is brown. Funchal isn't a color because it's in the ocean. It's the capital of the Madeira islands of Portugal. It's one of those cities I once yelled at the computer about. Funchal? Yes, Funchal.

Anyway, I hope you realize how important it is that I continue to broaden my horizons and learn and so you'll understand why I need to stay in my room, playing this game for the next seven hours so I can finally beat level 11.

Posted by Stephanie at 05:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Now that I have put book #2 to bed (it's just napping really), I have time to read. And boy do I have reading material. My editor sent me the gift of four books, including Ann Patchett's Run. The very handsome boyfriend gave me several volumes from Persephone Books, a UK publisher that reprints forgotten twentieth-century classics (most by women). The books themselves are stunning, with lovely grey jackets and period endpapers. I'm bringing one to read during my trip home. I also have John Banville's The Sea, which won the Man Booker Prize. Though the reason I picked it up was because I'd read Banville's mystery novel, Christine Falls, written under the pseudonym Benjamin Black and very much enjoyed his language. The Sea will continue my recent trend of reading books that feature the ocean. Should I get bored by any of these offerings I have several library books on research topics, just waiting for me to open them. It's been some time since I've had such a pile of books to read. I feel as I do when I've just cracked open a box of chocolates: delightful expectation.

Posted by Stephanie at 08:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

is not my two front teeth, though there was, in fact, a holiday season when I was sans two front teeth. I'd say it was adorable, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't. What's cute about a gaping hole in your mouth where your teeth should be? Ick.

Anyway, the other day my mother pointed out that I hadn't made a gift list. So savvy me turned the tables by saying, "You didn't ask for one this year." But she trumped me with some mother's guilt, for the win.

So this blog post is for you Mom. Though I honestly meant it when I said I didn't need anything. The items below should prove that.

Here's the book I mentioned, of animal photographs.

I also want a solar jar. I told Lesley this but then she asked me what size top I wear, so I'm sort of doubting she bought me one. You can order this through RedEnvelope. Their phone number is 1-877-733-3683 because I know you don't shop online. Ever.

It's on sale for $32.00. And yes, it's a jar that captures solar energy and then glows. I told you I didn't need anything.

What else? I like fancy ass cocoa. In fact, I have a hard time drinking less-than-stellar cocoa. What's best, though, is that your darling daughter will corrupt a $6.00 cup of fancy ass cocoa with Fluff if you let her. Awww, remember how Lesley and I used to climb the kitchen counters to eat Fluff straight from the container and it made a mallowy ring 'round our cherubic mouths? Yeah, we were adorable.

So fancy ass cocoa from Vosges would be good. Their phone # is 888-301-9866. Really, anything from there is fine except white chocolate. Bleh. White chocolate isn't even chocolate. (Tell that to my Philistine sister, Lesley. Remember how she always wanted the white chocolate bunny at Easter? Gross.)

Oh dear, that image isn't very large. The cocoa pictured is La Parisienne Couture Cocoa. I know how you like to speak French. See how generous I am? Giving you a chance to parlez-vous francais.

Yes, truly, never was there a more loving daughter. You should probably buy me all of these things. Or. Better yet? On Christmas take all the gifts with Lesley's name on them and give them to me and say, "Here. I think you deserve these more." That would be hilarious, and priceless. Not that I want her gifts or anything. I mean, she likes white chocolate. Ewww.

Posted by Stephanie at 02:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Hello friends!
I'm getting ready to attend a holiday party at which I will finally witness the glory of a turducken incarnate. My friend Cheryl's husband, Chris, actually deboned all the birds himself and sewed them back up with stuffing. A chicken inside a duck inside a turkey. The very handsome boyfriend is very, very excited. He's been talking of creating a turducken for years and I've been doing my best to rain on that particular parade. Just the idea of handling all that animal flesh gives me the squicks. But the boyfriend persists in his desire, and, I'm afraid after tonight I may not be able to check his turducken desires. Unless Chris tells him it was godawful to create. Hmmmmmm....I bet Chris isn't immune to bribery.

In fact, when I first mentioned that Chris would create a turducken for this party here's the conversation that ensued between me and the very handsome boyfriend.

VH Boyfriend: If Chris gets to make a turducken, so do I!
Me: Ummmmm.....
VH Boyfriend: I mean, Chris cut open his leg with a chainsaw!
Me: You see how that comparison doesn't work in favor of your argument?
VH Boyfriend: Right. Well. I want to make a turducken!
Me: (mumbling through drink)
VH Boyfriend: What?
Me: I want a pony.

Posted by Stephanie at 04:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

My geographic knowledge is laughable. My public school education required no geography curriculum. How I wish it had! I break out in a sweat if confronted by a "Where is that country (or state) located?" question.

So when I tumbled across this learning tool I was intrigued. It's a puzzle map of the Middle East (and more). You click and drag the name of the country to the spot you think it belongs. You get a bong sound when wrong and a happy noise when correct. The puzzle aspect helped me by engaging me more than staring at a map would. For all of you with similar geographical shortcomings who would like to know more about the region of the world from which many a news story is generating, try it out.

Posted by Stephanie at 10:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I never get tired of watching this.
Gabe and Max's How to Get the Dreamlife of Your Dreams Using the Internet.

Bing bong! You've got emails!

Posted by Stephanie at 01:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Dear RCN,

Here's a thought. When I press the button on the automated menu that sends me into the "my internet is not working at all" section could you disable the phone message that keeps telling me all the options available to me using rcn.com? Because, you see, as I just told you, me internet is down. Not working. Incommunicado. Got it? So a message in my ear every thirty seconds extolling the virtues of your website is not what I want to hear. Nor do I want some employee in Bangalore telling me to recycle the power to my modem (did that) or plug in an ethernet cable to the modem (after I had explained all of the computers weren't working, not just mine). When both my cable tv and internet are down it's clearly the RCN connection, no? Oh, and thanks for not coming to my house until tomorrow. Really, that's swell.

Hoping you choke on holiday cheer,
Stephanie

Posted by Stephanie at 10:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So it was Friday that I finished the manuscript of book #2. Remember how excited I was to have time to relax? Chill out? Do fun things (and necessary things like buy groceries and clean my damn room)? Yes, well, guess where I found myself at 12:15 PM today? Um, in the library, researching a new project.

What is wrong with me?

Am I categorically incapable of not working (two jobs) for more than three days? It would appear so. But on the bright side I found the *best* quote ever for the new project.

And anyway it's twenty degrees outside and the sidewalks are frozen so it's not as though I can enjoy myself out of doors. If I'm going to be indoors why not have ten reference books at my elbow and be jotting notes? Doesn't that sound almost cozy? It does if you add cocoa (with Fluff).

Okay, yes, I'm crazy. I'm also a work addict. Are there steps for me? Preferably less than twelve. I don't really have time for twelve. I'm busy.

Posted by Stephanie at 01:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I was inside a Williams-Sonoma store yesterday, fondling the baking supplies and somehow I missed this:

How? How did my donut radar miss this? At $49.95 it's a good deal cheaper than the Sky Mall maker.
Ohhhhh, it's an Internet/catalog item only. That's how I missed it.

Well, it's on my radar now.

Posted by Stephanie at 11:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

For all of you interested in the inner workings of my mind (I swear parts of my mind work) there's a new interview with me up at BellaOnline. You can check it out here.
I liked it because some of the questions were brand new.

Posted by Stephanie at 06:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)