Kittens
From the Onion:
Kitten Thinks Of Nothing But Murder All Day
August 16, 2006 | Issue 42•33
So I love this image. I loved it so much I bought the t-shirt from The Onion store when it became available, prompting Tracey to throw up her hands because it was what she planned to buy for my birthday (she really gets me). It freaked out the receptionist at my hair salon. At first she said, "Oh! Cute kitty!" And then she began reading the words aloud, "Kitten thinks of nothing..but...murder?...all day." Priceless.
Since I threatened to write a book called 1,000 Cuddly Kittens after reading gruesome criminal law/death sentence stuff, I thought, why not bring the kittens back?
Plus, it's all so meaningful because my Mom has been tracking the "woods kitties" behind her house. We used to have neighbors who had a lot of cats and they mated and then my parents' neighborhood, which does have lots of woods, became a ground for feral cats, or "woods kitties." For my birthday this year Mom got me a woods kitty or so she claims. The label says Gund, but she insists it's real and very low-maintenance. I named it Ghengis and have been moving it about the apartment.
Ghengis looks damn real, and kept startling me and my roommates the first few days after his adoption. We'd walk into the room and think "Where did that cat come from?" Right now, he's seated atop the purple couch, gazing out the window.
So there you have it. Probably a complete mental history of me and my Mom and our tendency to anthropomorphize things. Also some evidence as to why I'm a writer.