Shopping
Today I got it into my head that my book launch would be a raving success if I could find the perfect pair of jeans to wear. If not? Remainder bins meet my novel. Hyperbolic? Yes, thank you for noticing.
In my family the person who got the shopping genes is my sister Lesley. She could probably find a bargain in Barney's if so challenged. She has unflagging energy and doesn't whine that she has to pee, needs water, food, or that her back hurts (like me). She was this way before having four children.
When I go shopping I might start out enjoying the activity, but if it involves more than three stores I start getting peevish. I do enjoy playing "what would you rather wear" with Maggie, whose talent for finding outrageous outfits is legendary, but even that pales after 1.5 hours.
Today I braved downtown Boston, intent on my goal, prepared to spend more than my customary $29.99 on jeans. Prepared, if need be, to spend $100. Perhaps it's due to my lack of shopping, but color me shocked to discover upscale jeans (True Religion, 7 for Mankind, etc.) retail for approximately $200. What? Do they clean your house? Cook you breakfast?
I got what I wanted from Banana Republic for $78. More than my miserly soul wanted to spend, but not so pricey as to make me howl when I paid for them (bet that would startle the ladies at Sak's).
While I was in Jasmine Sola, trying on expensive jeans the salesgirl outside asked how it was going. I laughed. She asked if it was a bad laugh. I told her it was. I had just tried on a pair of low rise jeans. I hate low rise jeans. I don't like them because they attack my lady bits with their tiny zipper area of fabric and no one can sit in those jeans without exposing more than is proper and I don't care if this makes me sound old. Then she says, "Let me see."
Let her see? I just told her I hated them. Why would I let her see the jeans? So she could convince me that the jeans I hate are really terrific? By then I'd already whipped them off, so I told her that. She insisted on seeing the next pair, which were comfortable but about 2-3 inches too long (a strange problem given that I'm tall). She suggested I could get them hemmed. I nearly told her that for $198 the pants ought to self-hem, but didn't. I figured she wouldn't laugh and I had no energy to explain that I never get things hemmed and didn't want to start now. I went so far as to pretend to consider said jeans. Then I put them away and got the hell out of there.
Now I have the jeans. So everything is going to be a raving success only tomorrow's forecast is for temperatures in the high eighties. Not really denim weather. Excuse me. I need to call my sister.