Stephanie Gayle

Several people, notified of my impending publishing debut, have offered me marketing tips. A popular one is, "You should get on Oprah!" Wow. Thanks. That never would have occurred to me. In fact, it's right after marketing idea #1: find a genie in a bottle and make some wishes!

But truly, there have been some interesting moments born of this topic. Please keep in mind these are publicity ideas put forth by people who love me:

Stand outside a bookstore with a bat and ask the exiting patrons if they've bought my book yet. Hit the bat against palm in a meaningful way. Send patron back inside to buy book.

Write into contracts a clause that demands all signers purchase a copy of my book.

Become part of a scandal.

The last became more scary when Amy and Tracey were discussing posting videos of me dancing on YouTube. (Note to self: no more cameras/videos at any parties I'm attending. Ever. It's too much to expect me not to dance.)

Amy has put forth that she'd be willing to ride public transportation while reading my book. She'll laugh loudly, dab her eyes at other times and then declare, "This is the best book ever!" I think she hasn't ridden public transportation lately or she misunderstands commuting culture, which demands you ignore fellow passengers. But I love her for trying.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some digital cameras to sabotage.